I see the enemy and it is me.

Self Sabotage

The need to work is an addiction

Ever have a friend who is your perfect sounding board? I do. My friend Jane,( who is, believe it or not is married to Dick) she doesn’t let me get away with squat!
Woke up this morning after a night of tossing and turning, fretting and planning in a not so lovely mood.
Who would phone today of all days…. but of course, Jane. Not 5 minutes into the conversation she had zoned in on the root of my moodiness and as only Jane could do, told me I was neurotic and to take a pill.
I had applied for a table at the Milllarville Farmer’s market. This is an every Saturday commitment, plus the days of the week producing product.
Ok, all of you I told that I wasn’t interested in doing that type of ceramic work anymore, please speak up. because somehow I had forgotten those words and fell right back into my old ways of filling every waking hour with “stuff” to do.
The “work” of restructuring our life and getting ready is more than enough for now. Somehow I got this crazy idea that I had to do something to bring in some income (and as Jane says, feel worthy)
If I continued to move in the direction of selling work at the farmer’s market I would once again find a diversion to keep our dream at arm’s length.
Jane in her element

I left Jane’s house with the realization that this has to be the summer to break that mold. It will be tough I may need to be heavily medicated, but I will do it.
“Chill” is my new mantra!

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4 thoughts on “I see the enemy and it is me.

  1. Heavily medicated? hmmmm my intuition ‘said’ on your birthday “Evonne needs to be happily medicated to help her break recurring patterns and keep her in the field of recurring Joy.
    What if the Dalai Lama is right when he says our only work as we live this life is to Be in Joy. . . ?
    What if Sandy (Day) is right when she says that when she feels stress she just turns it over to God/Great Spirit/Universal Energy and says, “Please handle This (problem/stressful thought or Fear) I am going back to the vibration of trust and love and Joy – because that is all I can do.”

    well, it makes sense when Sandy says it.

    and, what if?

    Thinking of you.
    with loVe and Gratitude,
    Clover

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