Hunkering down

IMG_3029Confession time……

I haven’t felt the blogging love for quite a while. Writing about  the technical/ education based side of my life felt dry and lifeless. Sharing my inner life seems a bit self-absorbed.  Going on about the events of the last year of which there were many, well that’s just too much.

What’s really setting my hair on fire is the lens at which I see the world through the third trimester of my life.

Jean Shinoda Bolen beautifully writes about the triad maiden, mother and crone. She likens it to the three trimesters of pregnancy. The way we move through these phases are much the same.
When each phase ends there is a birth and a death. A time of rejoicing the newness and a time of grieving what is left behind.

Embracing my grandmotherness has been an exploration of myself and what I really stand for.  When the next generation stands before you absorbing everything you say and do, it creates an immediate shift of sorts. I feel even more radical than I did before. You don’t let stupid shit slide.

I feel distressed about the state of the world and the fact that we as the collective culture continue to create mountains of problems that we believe are not ours to solve. When I look in the eyes of the these little beauties, with their innocence and wonder, I want to leave them a world or at least or little corner of it that’s not so unconnected and harsh.

V and O enjoying river time.
V and O enjoying river time.

Unfortunately, I lost my superwoman cape a few years ago, so now I must settle for walking my talk, cleaning up my act and coming clean on the things that are not a fit anymore.

When I feel  passionate about something, at times I forget to be compassionate, kind and understanding, by default I turn to judgement. Feels good to get that off my chest!

Well let’s see where this goes.

PS… another confession, if you are sensitive to the occasional four letter word, be warned!

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2 thoughts on “Hunkering down

  1. Your comment “at times I forget to be compassionate, kind and understanding” reminded me of a line in a fabulous book, Women Who Run With the Wolves. “Anger is one of her innate ways to begin to reach out to create and preserve the balances that she holds dear, all that she truly loves. It is both her right, and at certain times and in certain circumstances, a moral duty”. Go for it sister! (Buddha wasn’t a grandmother*. * Revised advice I received from Will while in Black Diamond!)

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